So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
