can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
