I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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