...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
