Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
