There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
