I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Everclear isn't food dammit
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
