My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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