erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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