no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
