so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
