he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
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Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
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It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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