You made me cry and you don't even care
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Randomize
