Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
