Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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