I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
