So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
