Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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