Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
is it fun? or sober?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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