I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
he shaved USA in his pubs
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
