We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
organizing the empties. That sober.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
