if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
