i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize