first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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