put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
why do cheetos always look like penises
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I came so hard my ears popped.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
