i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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