Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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