I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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