Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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