i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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