i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
