it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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