is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
