Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
