My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
