Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
wrigley field is MILF paradise
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
