remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
