Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I just found a bag of teeth...
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
