Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Randomize
