Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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