I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
