I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
