i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
