Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
