I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
ttyl tear gas
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize