you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
