i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
All I want is dick and wine.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
