You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Randomize
