3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Kiss
Puke
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
