My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You brought string cheese to the strip club
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Randomize
