i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
one might say we're banned from that church
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
