I want to make a zoo with you.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
