Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
