we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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