I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
two words...techno handjob
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
