So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
