i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
