I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
